Muse Clues Bread Crumbs

“Somebody said they saw me, swinging the world by the tail, bouncing over a white cloud, killing the blues.” Rowland Salley


I know, I know. It’s been way too long since I last blogged. When was it? March? Well….let me just say… since I persuaded the muse to visit, he hasn’t been back since. I’ve made it too hard for him to find me. I moved! I mean I packed it all up and by that I mean that my stuff is now sitting in three different storage units, one in Nashville and two in Oxford, Alabama.

You know, all of my furniture, and my domestic poetic views, packed in banana boxes and stacked up in three 10 X 10 storage units. My kitchen rooster collection, tea cups and teapots, antique stained glass windows, all of the cross stitch I did while I was pregnant and/or nursing (which, by the way, was a whole lot of fine art!) My children’s plaster of Paris hand imprints and huge Rubber Maid boxes of family pictures, baby blankets, Christmas ornaments and quilts. Bird feeders, wind chimes and ceramic garden art I got while in Mexico are packed in a large garbage can along with my shovel, hoe and pruning shears.

My one-of-a- kind antique Cinderella pumpkin carriage bed that makes me feel like a princess when I sleep beneath its crown… my shabby chic dresser and chest that are about 175 years old…my parent’s first couch – an Empire period settee from the 1840’s are all sitting beneath boxes of bath towels, dinner plates and Tupperware. All of the things that materially make me “Donna Byrd” are strewn miles and miles apart from each other. Oh, yeah…I forgot to mention my books, my best friends that actually kidnapped me and took me off to places I could only go in my dreams, are put away into twenty five boxes and are pouting in the back of a hot storage unit.

I miss me. It’s made me feel out of sorts. I’m not quite myself, but then again, who am I really? Especially when all my props are in storage somewhere?

I gave much of my furniture away to my children. I visit them and sit on my couches, but they put their own decorative pillows on them. I sleep on my favorite bed, under the best worn sheets in the world, but they put a new, chic comforter on it. It’s pretty, but not what I remember it to be like (kids, please don’t be mad that I’m saying this. It’s really beautiful and looks great with the antique rug you bought.) I look at my white piano, but it’s in the dining room, gorgeous against the blue wall. The antique English drawing table and chairs that my siblings and I got my parents for their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary sit in the middle of the room and I’m glad it’s just “still in the family.” Much of my cross stitch adorns their walls. I was tired of it, but heck, it suits their house.

I visit my son John at his apartment too, and see my furniture, once again. His living room set. His bedroom set. All of my kitchen rugs, hall runners…. ALL OF ME!!!!!MY LIFE!!!!!

No wonder my muse can’t visit me. He can’t find me. I’m scattered like ashes across several states. Do people’s belongings truly make the person? Tell me it’s not so!

My belongings have been put away and I’ve been divided up, four ways! Bill and I spent time with our children in Nashville at their home. We “hung out” with the band and met all the cool people. We sat outside on their back patio, on the swings and lawn furniture we gave them, enjoying hibiscus and zinnias I planted last April and put in their safe keeping, while we escaped from the noise of band practice. We’ve been trendy, had great coffee at the Frothy Monkey and learned to eat organic foods at Burger Up and Chiptole, enjoying the company of the best kids on Earth.

We’ve also stayed weeks on end with my cousin Linda and her husband Richard (Bake.) They live on Topsail Island by the beach and they gave us the down stairs of their lovely home. We were able to walk on the nearly deserted beach any time we wanted and sit every night on their porch and watch the sunset over the intra coastal waterway. I swear there is a tree there at Stump Point that looks like it should be on the African savannah. At sunset, the sky would turn red behind the tree and I would start looking for elephants and giraffes. Then I would hear the sea gulls squawking and ocean waves making their beach “white noise” remembering where I was. When it turned dark (I mean really dark) we would go to the deck and lay on their patio lounges and let the stars come down within swatting distance. How long has it been since you’ve seen the Milky Way and watched meteor showers?

One night, Bill and Bake got to see a whole nest of sea turtles hatch on the beach. They were there on sea turtle duty making sure the babies made their way to the ocean. Bill got to hold a baby turtle in his hand. Oh, the life!!!

We also got to stay with lovely friends at their home in Oxford, Alabama. Our baby, Cody still lives in Oxford and we got to see him as much as his busy high school schedule would allow. We thought that would be everyday, but really? It wasn’t. He had his schedule too. But, we stayed in a lovely home and this time we got the basement! What a lovely place! Truly! We could spread out, watch TV until we fell asleep and use the top notch computers in their office. We felt so busy and alive with the technology. Bill even started writing a blog. Ideas were birthed! Dreams born. Quite a productive place. We also enjoyed a beautiful vista of Mt. Cheaha, watched sunsets over a picturesque barn and observed our friend’s horses in a beautiful, rolling, meadow from a distance. I’m a bit afraid of horses, but hay! (ha) I thought they were animal royalty. Even the rooster and hens were fascinating. What a gorgeous place and wonderful people.

Lastly, we stayed with my parents in my childhood home in Tarboro, North Carolina. Memories were at every turn. When I would look down my street, I would see my twelve year old self and my best friend, Janet, riding our bikes up and down the street, laughing at our girlish secrets. I would see the neighbors’ new houses, but really “see” the forts we built on their lots before a single foundation was layed. As children, we were warriors. We played “war” before we knew what war was.

Bill and I slept in my old bedroom. Kind of strange, as it always is….sleeping in your childhood home with your lover.

But…I have to say. It is also the place we were married. We had a garden wedding. I literally mean, a “garden” wedding. There was a beautiful garden that my grandfather maintained on my parent’s property. Corn, beans, tomatoes, okra, all bordered by beautiful flowers to draw honeybees. There were several dogwood trees beyond the garden and in the middle of two of them, Bill and I were married. I visit that exact spot every time I go “home.”

I walked out to the place where Bill and I took our vows. I stood between the dogwood trees and looked about me. To my direct left, there was stacked firewood for the winter. To my right was a grape vine with fruit almost sweet enough to pick. Dead ahead, there was an apple tree, loaded down with the weight of its fruit. To the left there was a fig tree, and yeah, plenty of fruit for the picking.

I took it all in. There was a lot of fruit and wood for warmth in the winter. But behind me, where we stood before the minister to take our vows, was my dad’s sailboat.

Now, I know that sounds odd. But there it was, in its sailboat “glory” tucked into itself, but yet a sailboat. Strong, wooden, a bit old fashioned, but beautifully crafted, right behind me. I laughed out loud.

I realized our life had been so fruitful. Everywhere I looked, there was fruit. There was the firewood there for cold and bitter times and best of all….there was a sail boat, always at the ready to sail us away to our next chapter. Our next adventure.

With all of this said, we hope to close on a house Friday in Nashville. It will be twenty five minutes away from most of our children and it’s lovely. If the deal falls through and we don’t get it, I’ll be relieved and if all goes according to plan…. I’ll be relieved. I know it sounds crazy for people to feel like this who are in our 50’s. But hey….dreams have been born and the sail boat is behind us, waiting to take us to our next destination. God has a plan that is always unfolding. I’ll keep you informed on what happens!

And Muse...wherever you are? I’m still waiting for you. I’ve given you clues like bread crumbs to lead you to me. All of my poetic views have not been stored away in a box somewhere. I have made new ones and collected them like friends over the summer. But if you get desperate in your search for me, just look up. I was spotted by someone, bouncing over a white cloud.